Tap dancing kangaroos are performing on my coffee table right now. One holds a laso, while the other is throwing "meatballs" to the floor below.
Earlier today, we loaded the stroller with picnic goodies, a blanket, and a ball. We hiked our way to the playground and enjoyed a two hour lunch... just my little kangaroos and me.
My three year old wrote her name for the first time, and her brother cheered "Ra-Daaaaaa!" (ta-da) for her.
We played hide and seek. We built a block castle. We drank green smoothies and had homemade (egg-less) cookies. We colored reindeer. We laughed until our bellies ached during bath time.
There are so many memories to be made in each day. Too many memories to be remembered. Too many moments that are filled with the true meaning of life. People are so focused on helping their children prepare for life and all that life will throw at them, that they don't realize their children are already living life. Every moment is truly lived in by a child. There is no later, no tomorrow, only now.
After the earth-shattering shooting that took place last Friday, taking the lives of 20 young children, I beg you to slow down. I beg you to look at life through your child's eyes.
Being a parent is hard. It is exhausting. It challenges your weaknesses daily... but as you know, it is the greatest journey life can offer. It is easy to lose yourself on this journey, to deviate from the woman (or man) you are and planned to become. It is time to take a moment and evaluate where you are, where your heart lies, and how you are expressing these things to those who matter most.
You cannot remember every moment of every day, but you should not have to. Your days should be filled with moments back to back, building high, this castle that is your life. Because your life should be lived in each moment.
Listen to the little voices. Sit on the floor and play. Go outside and get dirty. Hold hands. Hug. Give kisses. Take pictures. Laugh. Cry. Cheer.
Each moment is yours to live with your child(ren). Life can be taken from us at any time. We cannot protect ourselves or our children, despite our superhero mentality, in the scariest dangers of the world. Instead of living in fear though, let your love and strength be present and hold on to your babies while walking this journey. Walk it together, as the family you are.
This is our New Year's Resolution for 2013, and every year that follows: Be Present. Live each moment.
And to those who lost a child, a mother, a sister, a wife, or a loved one in the recent nightmare, my prayers and tears and heartache are with you daily. Words will never be enough. xoxo.
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Seek a Soul Mommy.
Everyone dreams of finding their soulmate in this lifetime. (I have been blessed in that category, as I hope you have as well.)
Being a mom brings with it another dream: finding your soul-mommy. What is a soul mommy, you ask? Simple. A soul mommy is another mother who completes you in all things motherhood. She is strong where you are weak, can finish your thoughts, leads her house in all the ways you do. There can be a secret silent language between the two of you. She is the one you would trust to not only watch your children, but even nurse them if the situation called for it. She is the one you call to vent, to chat, to laugh, to drink wine with. She will not judge you but only look at you with a knowing eye and completely understand.
Just as there is with your soulmate, an instant "knowing" or spark can occur when meeting your soul mommy. Normally you will have a child (or children) close in age. You will share similar, if not the same, beliefs in raising your family. The research that you are spending all hours of the night conducting is the same that she is up questioning. Not only will you fit with her, but your children will mysteriously fit as well.
It is a rare occurrence when your child has a friend who she not only loves but gets along with every time she's around. Nothing more than slight whining occurs. Sharing happens naturally. Laughing is on the agenda throughout the hours spent together. It is wonderful.
I was blessed to meet my soul mommy when my daughter was only 7 months old. We met at a playdate, instantly saw fireworks, and we never looked back. (good thing our husbands liked one another too!) I had the honor of living just minutes away from her for 14 months. We saw each other just about every day, and still felt the need to dial each other's number the few hours we were apart.
Then it was time to move. I have moved from best friends before. It sucks. I actually had to move away from the greatest group of mommy friends I have ever known when Scarlett was just half a year old. I knew that I would still see them frequently, as they lived minutes from my in-laws. Saying good-bye to my soul mommy (who resides on rainbow row in Charleston); however, was a very emotional moment. We said we would visit once a month, as the drive is only 2.5 hours. But you know how that goes... life happens. Gas prices soar. The economy continues to tank. More babies are born. We visit as often as we can afford though, and our connection has not dwindled, but distance has made our hearts sad.
This post came to me as John and I are preparing to throw a farewell party this afternoon for our friends in Savannah who are moving to Sweden in the upcoming weeks. They have been more than just neighbors and friends, but the mommy portion of the partnership had become my go-to mommy friend here in town. She lived within walking distance, shared the same natural lifestyle, and was a stay-at-home mom. I frequented her house as often as did mine. We learned from each other and grew as mothers and women. I am so sad to see her leave, but beyond happy for her that she is taking her family back to where she dreams of being.
Now, my Savannah mommy friend is different than my true soul mommy, but she has become such a wonderful constant in my day-to-day life that I do not know what I will do without her. As I am prepping for this afternoon's party (homemade baked beans have been simmering away, cornbread is baking, and egg-free chocolate chip cookies are already being taste-tested), I am brought back to when we moved away from Charleston. My heart is heavy and sad... and I am missing my soul mommy more than ever.
This post was not suppose to be sad, I promise! It was to inspire you as a mom to seek your soul mommy! Once you have found her, never let her go. Grow old together. Share stories from your past, make memories in the present, and dream of your future mommyhood together. And please remember to have someone take pictures of the tw of you (and not just of your children together!)
Me and My Soul Mommy.
Being a mom brings with it another dream: finding your soul-mommy. What is a soul mommy, you ask? Simple. A soul mommy is another mother who completes you in all things motherhood. She is strong where you are weak, can finish your thoughts, leads her house in all the ways you do. There can be a secret silent language between the two of you. She is the one you would trust to not only watch your children, but even nurse them if the situation called for it. She is the one you call to vent, to chat, to laugh, to drink wine with. She will not judge you but only look at you with a knowing eye and completely understand.
Just as there is with your soulmate, an instant "knowing" or spark can occur when meeting your soul mommy. Normally you will have a child (or children) close in age. You will share similar, if not the same, beliefs in raising your family. The research that you are spending all hours of the night conducting is the same that she is up questioning. Not only will you fit with her, but your children will mysteriously fit as well.
It is a rare occurrence when your child has a friend who she not only loves but gets along with every time she's around. Nothing more than slight whining occurs. Sharing happens naturally. Laughing is on the agenda throughout the hours spent together. It is wonderful.
I was blessed to meet my soul mommy when my daughter was only 7 months old. We met at a playdate, instantly saw fireworks, and we never looked back. (good thing our husbands liked one another too!) I had the honor of living just minutes away from her for 14 months. We saw each other just about every day, and still felt the need to dial each other's number the few hours we were apart.
Then it was time to move. I have moved from best friends before. It sucks. I actually had to move away from the greatest group of mommy friends I have ever known when Scarlett was just half a year old. I knew that I would still see them frequently, as they lived minutes from my in-laws. Saying good-bye to my soul mommy (who resides on rainbow row in Charleston); however, was a very emotional moment. We said we would visit once a month, as the drive is only 2.5 hours. But you know how that goes... life happens. Gas prices soar. The economy continues to tank. More babies are born. We visit as often as we can afford though, and our connection has not dwindled, but distance has made our hearts sad.
This post came to me as John and I are preparing to throw a farewell party this afternoon for our friends in Savannah who are moving to Sweden in the upcoming weeks. They have been more than just neighbors and friends, but the mommy portion of the partnership had become my go-to mommy friend here in town. She lived within walking distance, shared the same natural lifestyle, and was a stay-at-home mom. I frequented her house as often as did mine. We learned from each other and grew as mothers and women. I am so sad to see her leave, but beyond happy for her that she is taking her family back to where she dreams of being.
Now, my Savannah mommy friend is different than my true soul mommy, but she has become such a wonderful constant in my day-to-day life that I do not know what I will do without her. As I am prepping for this afternoon's party (homemade baked beans have been simmering away, cornbread is baking, and egg-free chocolate chip cookies are already being taste-tested), I am brought back to when we moved away from Charleston. My heart is heavy and sad... and I am missing my soul mommy more than ever.
This post was not suppose to be sad, I promise! It was to inspire you as a mom to seek your soul mommy! Once you have found her, never let her go. Grow old together. Share stories from your past, make memories in the present, and dream of your future mommyhood together. And please remember to have someone take pictures of the tw of you (and not just of your children together!)
The day we met:
A few fun pictures of the girls playing:
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Everything needs re-synching.
Your phone.
Your kindle.
Your iPad.
Your relationships.
All need a little plug-in time to synch every so often.
My last post was about being the world's worst mom when it came to E and sleep. Here's what I have learned: I had not re-synched myself with him in quite awhile. I was taking for granted just what a wonderfully easy babe he is. I am constantly synching myself with S just to keep up. She's three years old now and a sponge that is learning at a mile a minute. She is the most loving, caring, emotional little girl; and I personally think she's the coolest girl alive. But here in lies the problem. I have forgotten that each child needs this attention. I was just bringing E along for the ride, and because he is the happiest kid ever, I didn't think twice about any of it.
Over the past week, I have slowed down and truly watched the amazing 14 month old toddler that he has become. Time has flown. He has grown. He has a happy dance he does when S wakes up in the morning and he runs to hug her. He now pushes monster cars around the house and crashes block towers down. He climbs coffee tables and attempts to free fall from them. Yes, I have seen these things from him before, but this time I just watched. I observed my son and listened to him. I listened to my 14 month old. He has so much to "say" that it took my breath away.
He can tell me when he has pee'd by pulling at the diaper or bringing me a new one; so we have started sitting on the potty throughout the day.
He wants to carry a doll like his sister; so we let him push a stroller around all day.
He is capable of eating more food (and not nursing every hour on the hour), as long as his sister is eating too... and he has a utensil, is not in a high chair, and is not made to eat it.
HE CAN SLEEP. He gets tired throughout the day. He wants to sleep. He sleeps better if he gets more sleep. (I knew all of these things existed, but I just didn't think E was capable of them.) Now don't get me wrong, E is not a sleeping angel by any means; however, by watching and listening to him, and giving him the same consideration I have always given S, I have learned when he might be tired enough to sleep. I leave S to play while E and I lay in the sleep room together, nurse and listen to the sound machine. 7 out of 10 times, he has slept. The other 3, well, I can't win em all! He may sleep for 30 minutes or an hour, even an hour and a half once! but all that matters is that he is sleeping. I have also started a better night routine for both kids. I have been able to put them down 4 times on my own in the last week! I swear, the high is like finishing a race I have been training months for. Now I can't stop our lives and keep the kids at home all day; I teach bootcamp three days a week, S has ballet and soccer, we visit the library and museum once a week, etc. So we have adapted. If E falls asleep in the car, I walk S into ballet and wait in the car (with kindle in hand) while E sleeps. Or, S and I play outside while E sleeps in the car (with windows down and breeze blowing). If he falls asleep in the stroller on a run, S and I share popsicles outside while he naps. I no longer attempt to transfer him.
I cannot express the pride I have in myself at this moment of motherhood. As much as I wanted more children, I now feel as though I will be able to handle another child (or two if I have my way!). I am learning each day how to balance between the kids. I just have to remember that everything needs "re-synched" every so often to keep it updated.
On that note, I may need to "re-synch" with myself here soon. While, I am at a wonderful place emotionally, physically, and spiritually as a wife and mother, I need to reevaluate where I am at as an individual so that I never lose who I am. I have a bunco night coming up, a ballet class next week, and my weekly runs have gone from 3-4 days a week to 6 days. :) I'm on the right track, but it never hurts to hit the "synch" button again.
Is it time for you to re-synch a relationship?
Your kindle.
Your iPad.
Your relationships.
All need a little plug-in time to synch every so often.
My last post was about being the world's worst mom when it came to E and sleep. Here's what I have learned: I had not re-synched myself with him in quite awhile. I was taking for granted just what a wonderfully easy babe he is. I am constantly synching myself with S just to keep up. She's three years old now and a sponge that is learning at a mile a minute. She is the most loving, caring, emotional little girl; and I personally think she's the coolest girl alive. But here in lies the problem. I have forgotten that each child needs this attention. I was just bringing E along for the ride, and because he is the happiest kid ever, I didn't think twice about any of it.
Over the past week, I have slowed down and truly watched the amazing 14 month old toddler that he has become. Time has flown. He has grown. He has a happy dance he does when S wakes up in the morning and he runs to hug her. He now pushes monster cars around the house and crashes block towers down. He climbs coffee tables and attempts to free fall from them. Yes, I have seen these things from him before, but this time I just watched. I observed my son and listened to him. I listened to my 14 month old. He has so much to "say" that it took my breath away.
He can tell me when he has pee'd by pulling at the diaper or bringing me a new one; so we have started sitting on the potty throughout the day.
He wants to carry a doll like his sister; so we let him push a stroller around all day.
He is capable of eating more food (and not nursing every hour on the hour), as long as his sister is eating too... and he has a utensil, is not in a high chair, and is not made to eat it.
HE CAN SLEEP. He gets tired throughout the day. He wants to sleep. He sleeps better if he gets more sleep. (I knew all of these things existed, but I just didn't think E was capable of them.) Now don't get me wrong, E is not a sleeping angel by any means; however, by watching and listening to him, and giving him the same consideration I have always given S, I have learned when he might be tired enough to sleep. I leave S to play while E and I lay in the sleep room together, nurse and listen to the sound machine. 7 out of 10 times, he has slept. The other 3, well, I can't win em all! He may sleep for 30 minutes or an hour, even an hour and a half once! but all that matters is that he is sleeping. I have also started a better night routine for both kids. I have been able to put them down 4 times on my own in the last week! I swear, the high is like finishing a race I have been training months for. Now I can't stop our lives and keep the kids at home all day; I teach bootcamp three days a week, S has ballet and soccer, we visit the library and museum once a week, etc. So we have adapted. If E falls asleep in the car, I walk S into ballet and wait in the car (with kindle in hand) while E sleeps. Or, S and I play outside while E sleeps in the car (with windows down and breeze blowing). If he falls asleep in the stroller on a run, S and I share popsicles outside while he naps. I no longer attempt to transfer him.
I cannot express the pride I have in myself at this moment of motherhood. As much as I wanted more children, I now feel as though I will be able to handle another child (or two if I have my way!). I am learning each day how to balance between the kids. I just have to remember that everything needs "re-synched" every so often to keep it updated.
On that note, I may need to "re-synch" with myself here soon. While, I am at a wonderful place emotionally, physically, and spiritually as a wife and mother, I need to reevaluate where I am at as an individual so that I never lose who I am. I have a bunco night coming up, a ballet class next week, and my weekly runs have gone from 3-4 days a week to 6 days. :) I'm on the right track, but it never hurts to hit the "synch" button again.
Is it time for you to re-synch a relationship?
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Have I failed my son?
I have debated about this post for weeks now; hence the silence that has been my blog. I have tried to to start other posts, and yet I could only think about this. I still don't know how to write it. I guess I'll just go for it. I don't know if I'm just trying to vent or look for advice... or just hear that I'm not alone.
I feel as though I have failed my son.
I have a laundry list of "things" that make me a wonderful mother; I know this. This is not a confidence problem or a horrible mother complex. I truly believe that I have failed my son in one specific aspect.
I cannot put E to sleep. He is now 14 months old, and I do not "know" him well enough to put him to sleep. Not a nap. Not bedtime. He has never been a sleeper. Don't get me wrong, he is the world's happiest baby, and the pediatrician has told me several times now that some kids just don't need as much sleep as others. Well, E gets less sleep in a 24 hour period than my 3 year old. And I feel as though it is my fault.
S was an easy napper. She nursed to sleep, would snuggle with me, and as long as I was near, she slept. Then came E two years later. I was teaching bootcamp classes, and following Scarlett around, so E's sleep patterns became: car, stroller, ergo. Bedtime would be nursing while rocking and reading to Scarlett. But then he started moving. He hated pajamas. He would not let a blanket touch him. He didn't want to be rocked by me. He saw me as his milk machine. I went with it, thinking that it was just a hard sleep phase. This wouldn't be worth complaining about if he fell asleep while nursing. He doesn't. He refuses any type of lovey - and using me to comfort nurse for extended periods of time. Again, if he fell asleep doing this I might not be here... almost in tears because I cannot seem to get him to sleep. He nurses. nurses longer. comfort nurses. nurses some more. I break the latch because, at times, this has worked and he has rolled over and fallen asleep (RARELY). However, the norm is then WWIII. Kicking, screaming, couching to gagging, pinching, head butting, grabbing at my breasts. I try to hold him, it makes it worse. I give him space on the bed and just cover my face from being head butted r my chest from being pinched, pulled, etc. I lay there and almost cry as the clock ticks next to me. It gets to a point where I give up and call John in (an hour or more later) or I give in and let him nurse again. The cycle then repeats again. Not as long the second time because he is so exhausted from the fight that sometimes he gives in and settles down.
You may say, why don't I just let him nurse for the 1.5 hours at the start of bedtime until he is asleep? I have tried this too. This is what happens on nights John works late. I have both kids in the bed and have no other option. Here in lies the problem: E gets a second wind. There is a point during this long nursing session and comfort sucking to which he goes from almost passed out to wide awake again. This cannot be normal.
Here's the kicker: John walks in and within 20 minutes (normally less) E is asleep. It doesn't matter at what point John comes in. E just knows that there is no milk option I guess and only gives a half-hearted attempt.
Bedtime is bad, but then there is naptime. I can get E to sleep by wearing him in the ergo, running with the stroller, or in the car... IF he is tired. That's it. He does not transfer from any of the devices. He rarely sleeps longer than 30 minutes, unless we are outside while he is sleeping. I try to get him to nap at home, but I cannot devote 1-2 hours to putting him down for a nap that will only last 30 minutes or so. (It's the same issues as the bedtime routine) I have a 3 year old loose in the house! But here comes a weekend. John is home. He lays with E for 10-20 minutes and BAM - a nap occurs.
I feel like I do not know my child well enough to get him to sleep. I feel like I have failed him.
Has anyone else been in this position? Please please tell me I am not alone.
I feel as though I have failed my son.
I have a laundry list of "things" that make me a wonderful mother; I know this. This is not a confidence problem or a horrible mother complex. I truly believe that I have failed my son in one specific aspect.
I cannot put E to sleep. He is now 14 months old, and I do not "know" him well enough to put him to sleep. Not a nap. Not bedtime. He has never been a sleeper. Don't get me wrong, he is the world's happiest baby, and the pediatrician has told me several times now that some kids just don't need as much sleep as others. Well, E gets less sleep in a 24 hour period than my 3 year old. And I feel as though it is my fault.
S was an easy napper. She nursed to sleep, would snuggle with me, and as long as I was near, she slept. Then came E two years later. I was teaching bootcamp classes, and following Scarlett around, so E's sleep patterns became: car, stroller, ergo. Bedtime would be nursing while rocking and reading to Scarlett. But then he started moving. He hated pajamas. He would not let a blanket touch him. He didn't want to be rocked by me. He saw me as his milk machine. I went with it, thinking that it was just a hard sleep phase. This wouldn't be worth complaining about if he fell asleep while nursing. He doesn't. He refuses any type of lovey - and using me to comfort nurse for extended periods of time. Again, if he fell asleep doing this I might not be here... almost in tears because I cannot seem to get him to sleep. He nurses. nurses longer. comfort nurses. nurses some more. I break the latch because, at times, this has worked and he has rolled over and fallen asleep (RARELY). However, the norm is then WWIII. Kicking, screaming, couching to gagging, pinching, head butting, grabbing at my breasts. I try to hold him, it makes it worse. I give him space on the bed and just cover my face from being head butted r my chest from being pinched, pulled, etc. I lay there and almost cry as the clock ticks next to me. It gets to a point where I give up and call John in (an hour or more later) or I give in and let him nurse again. The cycle then repeats again. Not as long the second time because he is so exhausted from the fight that sometimes he gives in and settles down.
You may say, why don't I just let him nurse for the 1.5 hours at the start of bedtime until he is asleep? I have tried this too. This is what happens on nights John works late. I have both kids in the bed and have no other option. Here in lies the problem: E gets a second wind. There is a point during this long nursing session and comfort sucking to which he goes from almost passed out to wide awake again. This cannot be normal.
Here's the kicker: John walks in and within 20 minutes (normally less) E is asleep. It doesn't matter at what point John comes in. E just knows that there is no milk option I guess and only gives a half-hearted attempt.
Bedtime is bad, but then there is naptime. I can get E to sleep by wearing him in the ergo, running with the stroller, or in the car... IF he is tired. That's it. He does not transfer from any of the devices. He rarely sleeps longer than 30 minutes, unless we are outside while he is sleeping. I try to get him to nap at home, but I cannot devote 1-2 hours to putting him down for a nap that will only last 30 minutes or so. (It's the same issues as the bedtime routine) I have a 3 year old loose in the house! But here comes a weekend. John is home. He lays with E for 10-20 minutes and BAM - a nap occurs.
I feel like I do not know my child well enough to get him to sleep. I feel like I have failed him.
Has anyone else been in this position? Please please tell me I am not alone.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Bed-sharing in different beds. Are we alone with this one?
Let me start by apologizing for the time lapse in between the postings. Life has been hectic with Emmett (now 12.5 months) who can climb ANYTHING. I mean anything. The kid can get to the top of the dining room table faster than I can pee.
I promise to start setting aside time to type more regularly again!
Now onto the post:
We are bed-sharing advocates. We love sleeping with our children. And our children have not yet decided to sleep on their own. S just turned 3 years old on the 12th and E turned one on the 5th.
Here's the catch: My husband (J) and I each sleep with a child in different rooms. We have fallen into a groove that seems to be working well for the kids and allowing everyone the most sleep possible, but I do miss cuddling during the night. The night more or less goes like this:
Kids fall asleep in the "Sleep Room" (guest room where crib is). E in his crib and S in the bed. Within an hour, E wakes up to nurse again for about 5-10 minutes, then he's back in the crib. This is J & I's time to have wine, watch a show, talk, read, etc... E normally wakes up within the next hour; J's turn to get him. He takes E back to our bed and lays with him for 5 minutes until he is asleep again (he refuses to be rocked). So now the kids are in separate rooms. J, E, and I all sleep an hour or two together before S wakes and starts yelling for us. At this point, J hops up and joins her in the guest room. That is how we spend the remainder of the night.
We had been bringing S in with us when she woke up, but she tosses and turns and wakes E up too often. Without her in the bed, E sleeps 2 hour stretches! (That is amazing for him!)
Are we alone in this sleep situation? What will we do when there is a third baby (someday)? S shows no signs of wanting to sleep on her own. She gets scared in the middle of the night and really needs to feel a warm body next to her. E tosses and turns as much as his sister, so the crib is basically a joke. He hits his head and is immediately awake. We would like to eventually have them share a queen mattress on the floor together, but with E nursing so often and the tossing and turning between the two of them, I don't know if it's a good idea yet.
Please tell me we aren't alone! How crazy is your bed situation?
I promise to start setting aside time to type more regularly again!
Now onto the post:
We are bed-sharing advocates. We love sleeping with our children. And our children have not yet decided to sleep on their own. S just turned 3 years old on the 12th and E turned one on the 5th.
Here's the catch: My husband (J) and I each sleep with a child in different rooms. We have fallen into a groove that seems to be working well for the kids and allowing everyone the most sleep possible, but I do miss cuddling during the night. The night more or less goes like this:
Kids fall asleep in the "Sleep Room" (guest room where crib is). E in his crib and S in the bed. Within an hour, E wakes up to nurse again for about 5-10 minutes, then he's back in the crib. This is J & I's time to have wine, watch a show, talk, read, etc... E normally wakes up within the next hour; J's turn to get him. He takes E back to our bed and lays with him for 5 minutes until he is asleep again (he refuses to be rocked). So now the kids are in separate rooms. J, E, and I all sleep an hour or two together before S wakes and starts yelling for us. At this point, J hops up and joins her in the guest room. That is how we spend the remainder of the night.
We had been bringing S in with us when she woke up, but she tosses and turns and wakes E up too often. Without her in the bed, E sleeps 2 hour stretches! (That is amazing for him!)
Are we alone in this sleep situation? What will we do when there is a third baby (someday)? S shows no signs of wanting to sleep on her own. She gets scared in the middle of the night and really needs to feel a warm body next to her. E tosses and turns as much as his sister, so the crib is basically a joke. He hits his head and is immediately awake. We would like to eventually have them share a queen mattress on the floor together, but with E nursing so often and the tossing and turning between the two of them, I don't know if it's a good idea yet.
Please tell me we aren't alone! How crazy is your bed situation?
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Regarding: My Sanity and Peacefully Parenting
To: The Higher Power of Peaceful Parenting
Regarding: My Sanity and Peacefully Parenting
From: A mother who is always seeking more knowledge
Almighty Being - God of Peaceful Parenting,
Please help. Please help me today; in this moment. Peaceful Parenting is HARD. Just when I feel as though I am capable of handling anything my toddler can -dish out, I am rudely awakened with some new challenge. Normally, I enjoy the challenge. I thrive in learning and growing as an individual, as a team with my husband, and as a mother. However, there are moments in which I am NOT IN THE MOOD for a challenge. Today is one of those days.
I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, with not one but both children in grumpy moods.
I have spoken in a sharp tone with my toddler. I have let my 11 month old cry while reaching for me because I needed a minute to breathe. I have been baffled as what to do while my toddler pushed my new walker over repeatedly just to keep him from toys. I have listened to the grumpy moods continue throughout the morning into lunch.
I understand in moments like these how easy it would be to leave a child in time out. Or even how easy it is to let your emotions win out and spank. I am not that type of parent. I follow a peaceful path and know that it will pay off with well-rounded, self-confident, happy, and trusting children. However, it is HARD. It is very hard.
Please respond with advice... I'm losing my sanity today.
And this is what I believe I would receive in response:
Dear Gentle Mother,
Breathe. Breathe again. Where are your children now? Don't you hear them laughing together as you type?
Remember your purpose. You are here to unconditionally love and support these babies throughout a lifetime of challenges. Challenges that will be minute or catastrophic, but none-the-less challenging. Breathe through these moments. Close your eyes and survive. Then open your eyes and watch the beautiful being in which you have created. Watch as she is watching you, learning. Words are just words, but your actions are what she is responding to.
Take a moment to regroup and then count your blessings, for even challenging moments are worth treasuring. As hard as it may seem, they are.
Tomorrow will be a better day, but go make the best of the rest of today.
Always guiding,
The Spirit of Parenting Peacefully.
ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGG....... Yes that is exactly what I would receive in response. And I'm feeling better already. Yes, my children are playing together right now, happily, and yes I am blessed. But I am also allowed a cranky-ass, crappy-mommy moment or two here and there, right? RIGHT. I feel as though these moments are what challenge me to expand my knowledge and strength within the parenting style that hubby and I are continuously developing.
Here's the day that has caused this letter... Nothing too out of the ordinary, but for some reason, enough to just push me over.
My attitude and outlook on the day is exactly that, "MINE." It is mine to change and turn around. But why is it so hard sometimes? I seek contentment in each moment. I seek the knowledge to be a good mother in each moment. And there are times when, even though I have the tools, my attitude and outlook snowball one bad moment into an entire morning of bad moments. Why do I do this?
This morning started off a bit earlier than normal, but nothing out of the ordinary. We had (and still have) nothing on our to do list. It was suppose to be just a relaxing day around the house. Maybe we would paint, or perhaps make play dough people. Who knows, we might even have made colored bubbles. But things started melting down after breakfast. While I was trying to entice Baby E to eat SOMETHING (you know, maybe a cheerio... or whoa a pinch of banana), S found her foam shape stickers and began sticking them all over the windows. I asked her to stop once, but she continued. I held my breath and thought, "Well, I'll peel them off later - at least she is happy. We may as well use this as a teachable moment!" (YAY me - see I do have tools to make good moments) I began talking to her about the shapes and colors, the similarities and differences. It was a great moment. I asked S what she wanted to do today, "Swim! Mommy, me want me new pool." I figured we needed to try blowing up her new pool before the big birthday party next month, so why not. I needed to stuff a few diapers and Baby E needed to nurse and perhaps nap. (No food was consumed for breakfast.) I began playing with S as I worked on these tasks.
Baby E is now 11 months old and will not nap with distractions. How do you create a quiet peaceful environment with an almost 3 year old bouncing around? S did not want to watch a show while I tried putting E down. She did not want to play by herself. She then danced around the room and laughed continuously until it was apparent a nap was not in E's immediate future. She then cheered when he began laughing with her. This was the moment that my "Peaceful" mentality began to meltdown. I had asked her three times to sit quietly. I know that she is only 35 months old (Today - ooooooh happy 35th month of life my love bug!) and I know that a three year old does not have the mentality to understand that sitting for more than 45 seconds is what is needed in this moment.
E did not nap. This (again) shouldn't cause a downward spiral, as napping is not a scheduled thing in our house. But my blood was boiling. I was mad at my almost three year old. What was wrong with me?
We began working on the blow up pool. This was a gift that had not yet been opened and instructions read "20 minute blow up time." Fast forward TWO HOURS. During this time, S had pushed E down several times, taking the hose away from him, squirt him, etc... even after continuous redirection. I finally lost it. The sweat was rolling down my back, E was crying, S was not listening, and the damn pool was not blown up yet! I made S sit down next to me (as she SCREEEEEEEEEEAMED and cried) and talk to me about why she wasn't being kind. It took all of my might not to grab her and sit her alone somewhere to have a break. I felt horrible as this was the first "time out" type of experience she has had. I know it was not time-out, but I thought I would be able to better handle these moments. But no, I didn't know what to do, and I was at my wits end. We talked and she was nicer. I was able to put E down for a (25 minute) nap. The pool did blow up. The rain clouds have now rolled in and I just have to laugh.
I am calling on a higher power to help me survive today. I need a little guidance. This peaceful parenting thing is F'ing HARD.
Regarding: My Sanity and Peacefully Parenting
From: A mother who is always seeking more knowledge
Almighty Being - God of Peaceful Parenting,
Please help. Please help me today; in this moment. Peaceful Parenting is HARD. Just when I feel as though I am capable of handling anything my toddler can -dish out, I am rudely awakened with some new challenge. Normally, I enjoy the challenge. I thrive in learning and growing as an individual, as a team with my husband, and as a mother. However, there are moments in which I am NOT IN THE MOOD for a challenge. Today is one of those days.
I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, with not one but both children in grumpy moods.
I have spoken in a sharp tone with my toddler. I have let my 11 month old cry while reaching for me because I needed a minute to breathe. I have been baffled as what to do while my toddler pushed my new walker over repeatedly just to keep him from toys. I have listened to the grumpy moods continue throughout the morning into lunch.
I understand in moments like these how easy it would be to leave a child in time out. Or even how easy it is to let your emotions win out and spank. I am not that type of parent. I follow a peaceful path and know that it will pay off with well-rounded, self-confident, happy, and trusting children. However, it is HARD. It is very hard.
Please respond with advice... I'm losing my sanity today.
And this is what I believe I would receive in response:
Dear Gentle Mother,
Breathe. Breathe again. Where are your children now? Don't you hear them laughing together as you type?
Remember your purpose. You are here to unconditionally love and support these babies throughout a lifetime of challenges. Challenges that will be minute or catastrophic, but none-the-less challenging. Breathe through these moments. Close your eyes and survive. Then open your eyes and watch the beautiful being in which you have created. Watch as she is watching you, learning. Words are just words, but your actions are what she is responding to.
Take a moment to regroup and then count your blessings, for even challenging moments are worth treasuring. As hard as it may seem, they are.
Tomorrow will be a better day, but go make the best of the rest of today.
Always guiding,
The Spirit of Parenting Peacefully.
ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGG....... Yes that is exactly what I would receive in response. And I'm feeling better already. Yes, my children are playing together right now, happily, and yes I am blessed. But I am also allowed a cranky-ass, crappy-mommy moment or two here and there, right? RIGHT. I feel as though these moments are what challenge me to expand my knowledge and strength within the parenting style that hubby and I are continuously developing.
Here's the day that has caused this letter... Nothing too out of the ordinary, but for some reason, enough to just push me over.
My attitude and outlook on the day is exactly that, "MINE." It is mine to change and turn around. But why is it so hard sometimes? I seek contentment in each moment. I seek the knowledge to be a good mother in each moment. And there are times when, even though I have the tools, my attitude and outlook snowball one bad moment into an entire morning of bad moments. Why do I do this?
This morning started off a bit earlier than normal, but nothing out of the ordinary. We had (and still have) nothing on our to do list. It was suppose to be just a relaxing day around the house. Maybe we would paint, or perhaps make play dough people. Who knows, we might even have made colored bubbles. But things started melting down after breakfast. While I was trying to entice Baby E to eat SOMETHING (you know, maybe a cheerio... or whoa a pinch of banana), S found her foam shape stickers and began sticking them all over the windows. I asked her to stop once, but she continued. I held my breath and thought, "Well, I'll peel them off later - at least she is happy. We may as well use this as a teachable moment!" (YAY me - see I do have tools to make good moments) I began talking to her about the shapes and colors, the similarities and differences. It was a great moment. I asked S what she wanted to do today, "Swim! Mommy, me want me new pool." I figured we needed to try blowing up her new pool before the big birthday party next month, so why not. I needed to stuff a few diapers and Baby E needed to nurse and perhaps nap. (No food was consumed for breakfast.) I began playing with S as I worked on these tasks.
Baby E is now 11 months old and will not nap with distractions. How do you create a quiet peaceful environment with an almost 3 year old bouncing around? S did not want to watch a show while I tried putting E down. She did not want to play by herself. She then danced around the room and laughed continuously until it was apparent a nap was not in E's immediate future. She then cheered when he began laughing with her. This was the moment that my "Peaceful" mentality began to meltdown. I had asked her three times to sit quietly. I know that she is only 35 months old (Today - ooooooh happy 35th month of life my love bug!) and I know that a three year old does not have the mentality to understand that sitting for more than 45 seconds is what is needed in this moment.
E did not nap. This (again) shouldn't cause a downward spiral, as napping is not a scheduled thing in our house. But my blood was boiling. I was mad at my almost three year old. What was wrong with me?
We began working on the blow up pool. This was a gift that had not yet been opened and instructions read "20 minute blow up time." Fast forward TWO HOURS. During this time, S had pushed E down several times, taking the hose away from him, squirt him, etc... even after continuous redirection. I finally lost it. The sweat was rolling down my back, E was crying, S was not listening, and the damn pool was not blown up yet! I made S sit down next to me (as she SCREEEEEEEEEEAMED and cried) and talk to me about why she wasn't being kind. It took all of my might not to grab her and sit her alone somewhere to have a break. I felt horrible as this was the first "time out" type of experience she has had. I know it was not time-out, but I thought I would be able to better handle these moments. But no, I didn't know what to do, and I was at my wits end. We talked and she was nicer. I was able to put E down for a (25 minute) nap. The pool did blow up. The rain clouds have now rolled in and I just have to laugh.
I am calling on a higher power to help me survive today. I need a little guidance. This peaceful parenting thing is F'ing HARD.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Not So Egg-Cellent News,
I am in search for the perfect pancake recipe. The catch? It must be egg free.
Everything must be egg free from now on. No, this is not part of our family resolution bucket. This is doctor's orders. E is allergic to eggs.
For those of you who have been following, you know that we have struggled with a dry, painful cough, red breakout blotches, hives, and almost blister-like diaper rashes on E since birth. I had eliminated all dairy from my diet, and we saw mild improvement. It was confusing though because I didn't know if it was the eliminated dairy making the difference or just the growing up and development of his digestive system. The doctor wanted to wait until a year of age before allergy testing him, as the test give false negatives at an early age. At ten months, I begged for the test. I knew that something more than dairy was causing E pain.
So in we went. My children have never seen a needle, and here I was voluntarily offering E's arm to be pricked for blood for a test that would probably come back as one big false negative. What was I thinking? I wasn't. My mommy-gut; however, was. And she was right.
Eggs.
E.G.G.S.
Seriously. Eggs.
I received the phone call explaining that E's allergy was undeniable. He has a severe egg white allergy and we do not know about the yolks. (As they were not tested) Without seeing a true allergist (which is the next step), we cannot be sure if his reactions from birth were all caused by this allergy, but we can assume. Between John, Scarlett, and myself, we take down over 2 dozen farm fresh eggs a week. We dip fish in them. We scramble and fry them. We make pancakes, waffles, fritatas. I bake cookies, brownies, and cakes... We eat EGGS.
I guess the bright side is that we found out there is a definite allergy. I was starting to feel crazy.
I'm also hoping that there were any false negatives to anything else on the test (ie: dairy).
So the recipe search begins. Throw me your best egg-less dishes. Especially breakfasts and desserts! PLEASE!
Everything must be egg free from now on. No, this is not part of our family resolution bucket. This is doctor's orders. E is allergic to eggs.
For those of you who have been following, you know that we have struggled with a dry, painful cough, red breakout blotches, hives, and almost blister-like diaper rashes on E since birth. I had eliminated all dairy from my diet, and we saw mild improvement. It was confusing though because I didn't know if it was the eliminated dairy making the difference or just the growing up and development of his digestive system. The doctor wanted to wait until a year of age before allergy testing him, as the test give false negatives at an early age. At ten months, I begged for the test. I knew that something more than dairy was causing E pain.
So in we went. My children have never seen a needle, and here I was voluntarily offering E's arm to be pricked for blood for a test that would probably come back as one big false negative. What was I thinking? I wasn't. My mommy-gut; however, was. And she was right.
Eggs.
E.G.G.S.
Seriously. Eggs.
I received the phone call explaining that E's allergy was undeniable. He has a severe egg white allergy and we do not know about the yolks. (As they were not tested) Without seeing a true allergist (which is the next step), we cannot be sure if his reactions from birth were all caused by this allergy, but we can assume. Between John, Scarlett, and myself, we take down over 2 dozen farm fresh eggs a week. We dip fish in them. We scramble and fry them. We make pancakes, waffles, fritatas. I bake cookies, brownies, and cakes... We eat EGGS.
I guess the bright side is that we found out there is a definite allergy. I was starting to feel crazy.
I'm also hoping that there were any false negatives to anything else on the test (ie: dairy).
So the recipe search begins. Throw me your best egg-less dishes. Especially breakfasts and desserts! PLEASE!
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