Regarding: My Sanity and Peacefully Parenting

To:  The Higher Power of Peaceful Parenting
Regarding: My Sanity and Peacefully Parenting
From: A mother who is always seeking more knowledge


Almighty Being - God of Peaceful Parenting,

Please help. Please help me today; in this moment.  Peaceful Parenting is HARD. Just when I feel as though I am capable of handling anything my toddler can -dish out, I am rudely awakened with some new challenge.  Normally, I enjoy the challenge. I thrive in learning and growing as an individual, as a team with my husband, and as a mother.  However, there are moments in which I am NOT IN THE MOOD for a challenge.  Today is one of those days.  

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, with not one but both children in grumpy moods.  

I have spoken in a sharp tone with my toddler.  I have let my 11 month old cry while reaching for me because I needed a minute to breathe.  I have been baffled as what to do while my toddler pushed my new walker over repeatedly just to keep him from toys.  I have listened to the grumpy moods continue throughout the morning into lunch. 

I understand in moments like these how easy it would be to leave a child in time out.  Or even how easy it is to let your emotions win out and spank.  I am not that type of parent.  I follow a peaceful path and know that it will pay off with well-rounded, self-confident, happy, and trusting children.  However, it is HARD.  It is very hard.

Please respond with advice... I'm losing my sanity today.

And this is what I believe I would receive in response:


Dear Gentle Mother, 


Breathe. Breathe again.  Where are your children now? Don't you hear them laughing together as you type?  


Remember your purpose. You are here to unconditionally love and support these babies throughout a lifetime  of challenges.  Challenges that will be minute or catastrophic, but none-the-less challenging.  Breathe through these moments. Close your eyes and survive.  Then open your eyes and watch the beautiful being in which you have created. Watch as she is watching you, learning.  Words are just words, but your actions are what she is responding to.  


Take a moment to regroup and then count your blessings, for even challenging moments are worth treasuring. As hard as it may seem, they are. 


Tomorrow will be a better day, but go make the best of the rest of today.


Always guiding,

The Spirit of Parenting Peacefully.



ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGG.......   Yes that is exactly what I would receive in response. And I'm feeling better already.  Yes, my children are playing together right now, happily, and yes I am blessed.  But I am also allowed a cranky-ass, crappy-mommy moment or two here and there, right?  RIGHT.  I feel as though these moments are what challenge me to expand my knowledge and strength within the parenting style that hubby and I are continuously developing.  


Here's the day that has caused this letter...   Nothing too out of the ordinary, but for some reason, enough to just push me over.

My attitude and outlook on the day is exactly that, "MINE."  It is mine to change and turn around. But why is it so hard sometimes?  I seek contentment in each moment. I seek the knowledge to be a good mother in each moment. And there are times when, even though I have the tools, my attitude and outlook snowball one bad moment into an entire morning of bad moments.  Why do I do this?

This morning started off a bit earlier than normal, but nothing out of the ordinary.  We had (and still have) nothing on our to do list.  It was suppose to be just a relaxing day around the house.  Maybe we would paint, or perhaps make play dough people. Who knows, we might even have made colored bubbles.  But things started melting down after breakfast.  While I was trying to entice Baby E to eat SOMETHING (you know, maybe a cheerio... or whoa a pinch of banana), S found her foam shape stickers and began sticking them all over the windows.  I asked her to stop once, but she continued.  I held my breath and thought, "Well, I'll peel them off later - at least she is happy. We may as well use this as a teachable moment!"  (YAY me - see I do have tools to make good moments) I began talking to her about the shapes and colors, the similarities and differences. It was a great moment.  I asked S what she wanted to do today, "Swim! Mommy, me want me new pool."  I figured we needed to try blowing up her new pool before the big birthday party next month, so why not.  I needed to stuff a few diapers and Baby E needed to nurse and perhaps nap. (No food was consumed for breakfast.)  I began playing with S as I worked on these tasks.

Baby E is now 11 months old and will not nap with distractions.  How do you create a quiet peaceful environment with an almost 3 year old bouncing around?  S did not want to watch a show while I tried putting E down. She did not want to play by herself. She then danced around the room and laughed continuously until it was apparent a nap was not in E's immediate future. She then cheered when he began laughing with her.  This was the moment that my "Peaceful" mentality began to meltdown.  I had asked her three times to sit quietly.  I know that she is only 35 months old (Today - ooooooh happy 35th month of life my love bug!) and I know that a three year old does not have the mentality to understand that sitting for more than 45 seconds is what is needed in this moment.

E did not nap.  This (again) shouldn't cause a downward spiral, as napping is not a scheduled thing in our house.  But my blood was boiling. I was mad at my almost three year old. What was wrong with me?

We began working on the blow up pool.  This was a gift that had not yet been opened and instructions read "20 minute blow up time."  Fast forward TWO HOURS. During this time, S had pushed E down several times, taking the hose away from him, squirt him, etc...  even after continuous redirection.  I finally lost it. The sweat was rolling down my back, E was crying, S was not listening, and the damn pool was not blown up yet!  I made S sit down next to me (as she SCREEEEEEEEEEAMED and cried) and talk to me about why she wasn't being kind.  It took all of my might not to grab her and sit her alone somewhere to have a break.  I felt horrible as this was the first "time out" type of experience she has had.  I know it was not time-out, but I thought I would be able to better handle these moments. But no, I didn't know what to do, and I was at my wits end.  We talked and she was nicer.  I was able to put E down for a (25 minute) nap.  The pool did blow up. The rain clouds have now rolled in and I just have to laugh.

I am calling on a higher power to help me survive today. I need a little guidance.  This peaceful parenting thing is F'ing HARD. 

Not So Egg-Cellent News,

I am in search for the perfect pancake recipe. The catch? It must be egg free.

Everything must be egg free from now on.  No, this is not part of our family resolution bucket.  This is doctor's orders.  E is allergic to eggs.

For those of you who have been following, you know that we have struggled with a dry, painful cough, red breakout blotches, hives, and almost blister-like diaper rashes on E since birth.  I had eliminated all dairy from my diet, and we saw mild improvement.  It was confusing though because I didn't know if it was the eliminated dairy making the difference or just the growing up and development of his digestive system.  The doctor wanted to wait until a year of age before allergy testing him, as the test give false negatives at an early age.  At ten months, I begged for the test.  I knew that something more than dairy was causing E pain.

So in we went.  My children have never seen a needle, and here I was voluntarily offering E's arm to be pricked for blood for a test that would probably come back as one big false negative. What was I thinking?  I wasn't. My mommy-gut; however, was.  And she was right.

Eggs.

E.G.G.S.

Seriously. Eggs.

I received the phone call explaining that E's allergy was undeniable.  He has a severe egg white allergy and we do not know about the yolks.  (As they were not tested)  Without seeing a true allergist (which is the next step), we cannot be sure if his reactions from birth were all caused by this allergy, but we can assume.  Between John, Scarlett, and myself, we take down over 2 dozen farm fresh eggs a week. We dip fish in them. We scramble and fry them. We make pancakes, waffles, fritatas. I bake cookies, brownies, and cakes...  We eat EGGS.

I guess the bright side is that we found out there is a definite allergy.  I was starting to feel crazy.

I'm also hoping that there were any false negatives to anything else on the test (ie: dairy).

So the recipe search begins.  Throw me your best egg-less dishes.  Especially breakfasts and desserts!  PLEASE!